In The Verge of a Breakdown....

In The Verge of a Breakdown....
By Ravini De Silva

Many of us go through very stressful times. We may have problems at work, or even lose jobs, have relationship splits, go through times of financial difficulty, and suffer bereavements. It can often be triggered by a distressing event such as a loss of job, financial difficulty, bereavement or relationship crisis. Overwork, stress and bullying are other triggers. Or a breakdown could be a combination of factors. Though they were manageable on their own, combined they can be too much.

At these times, you may keep on thinking too much, lose your appetite for a few days, drink more than usual, and find it hard to stop crying. But there are key differences between this sort of life crisis and a true nervous breakdown. In a breakdown, someone is no longer able to function in the way they were able to. During a stressful time, people have feelings of loss of control over your life, have paranoid thoughts, lose the interest in life for more than a few days, see or hear things, find it difficult to leave home or to talk to people, act very out of character, change in appetite or sleep patterns for more than a few days.

Some people may have a stronger tendency to breakdown. You may be more sensitive, your past can also be a factor. If you had an experience that went badly, you may be less resilient to dealing with a similar experience now. If you were brought up to hide your emotions, you're more likely to reach the point of being overwhelmed because there is no outlet for them. Heavy drinkers or drug users may be at risk, too. People may use these to self-medicate difficult feelings, but they can lead to changes in brain chemistry which will make things worse.

If you are in a stressful time, take steps to prevent a breakdown. Talking to someone, whether that's a friend or a qualified counsellor, can be very helpful. Bring some balance and routine into your life - take days off, make time for relaxation, try to eat regular meals, and get to bed early. Avoid alcohol, caffeine and sugary junk foods, which can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety. Exercise is also important. It can help you work out feelings of stress and anxiety.
People take different lengths of time to recover sufficiently to go back to normal life - it can take anything from a few weeks to many months, and you may need to maintain the support of counselling.

There’s a very good chance of recovery from such a breakdown. If a breakdown has a temporary cause, such as bereavement or work stress, it's likely someone will be able to move on and go back to a normal way of life. There can even be a silver lining, when people rebuild their lives afterwards, they frequently report they are happier than they were before. This can be because they made some big changes.

Specially, if you are after a breakdown of a close relationship, best thing to do is try to keep as busy as possible, give yourself goals for the new year. Get fit, join clubs, go out with friends, meet up with family, best to keep active. You will have good days and bad days. Do the things that interest you and put yourself first. Take up new interests or "dust off" old ones. You will go through many emotions, and although the whole experience is absolutely horrible, you can become a stronger person for it.

Also remember to leave the guilt alone. Most of the time we want to wonder what we did to mess up this relationship and push some one away, and the truth is that it had nothing to do with you. Some times a relationship doesn’t work just because, and its no ones fault, so don't be so quick to take on guilt, its no ones fault. Accept that it is over and be ready to move on. What most of us do is build a life around our partner and depend on them for our happiness and security. So unbalanced and unhealthy as well as smothering and way to needy.

Sometimes relationships just end. That has to be accepted. It's not taught in movies or culture but it's a reality. A relationship cannot sustain itself if one party is absent or chooses to get out.